Failing Hope II

I'm gonna run away to Canada.

So now I sit here ready to spill everything out and write an uber long post but I don't know what to type.

Or whether or not I should type.

Since writing is kinda like my therapy...other than shopping.

So we might have been getting carbon monoxide poisoning. fun stuff.

I don't want to eat. Except for my brownies but I know my system will not be pleased with me if I keep up with that.

I already miss him and it hasn't been that long. If it was the right thing to do, why does it hurt so much? I mean, it's not like I didn't have fun with him and everything, it's just I changed. Whether that was for better or for worse I don't know yet. I hate how it hurts though, and that I'm not the only one feeling it. I feel like such a horrible person because I put someone else through this, and that I've caused someone so much pain..and since I moved I don't really have anyone to lean on anymore. I don't have the people I'd talk to about it with and I don't have the house I can go to and pig out on ice cream and watch sappy movies. Then I find out that my old boss still hates my guts with a passion and rants about me to anyone that knows me/he thinks will listen. What a way to go away. Stupid heads. I hate how people pretend to be happy with you and be your friend and go around saying crud about how horrible you apparently are.

I need something.

What I need I can't have anymore though.

I ruined it.

Good job me!

Anyways. I still have no job, and I'm not gonna go to college until next Fall. If I go. I mean, why should I? I don't even know what I want to do with my life. The only thing college wise that has actually appealed to me lately is going with Jen in Canada for Forensics. How would I be able to get a job for that here?

I feel inadequate.

posted by Denise @ 2:47 PM