Failing Hope II

It's 3am I must be lonely.

Homecoming with Jake next Sat. fun? Let's hope so.

People give me such a hard time about the silliest things. Honestly, why can't you let what is be what it is? It isn't anything in the first place so don't flip a lid about it.

Rock music tonight is a definate. Especially since the last few nights I've wanted to cry my eyes out. I've been good at holding it in most of the nights though. Most.

I'm drinking Gatorade, holy crap.

I've been seriously dehydrated and not eating healthy at all. We haven't really gotten any new food here for awhile because we want to get rid of what we already have, which isn't much. But we don't want to waste anything when we're moving. or something. I dunno but it's really starting to F up my system.

Didn't go downstate for BoM day, and I didn't go to JJ today even though I was invited. I didn't call Drew back even though in his message he'd "love it if I'd give him a call back" I'm moving! What hope could there be left??? Honestly. Very anti-social the last few days, but I had no problem talking on the phone with Jake for over an hour.

I just sometimes get so tired of it all. And very tired of myself. I'm not a very entertaining person. Quite the boring one am I, that's why I don't keep friends well. I finally get it now.

Maybe tonight I'll put a movie in so when I'm laying in the dark I'll have something to keep my mind focused on other than my life and how cruddy it can be.

I also need to get my dress out and figure out what shoes for it and what not. I need to know where everything is so when I go downstate next Friday it'll be easier to pack. I'll probably be down there until Sunday so I can see Mike at church and a few others. Plus it'd be very late if I tried to get home after homecoming.

If I'm rude to you, I'm not meaning to be and not meaning for it to sound that way, it's just how it's coming out of my mouth. I'm sorry.

Night.

posted by Denise @ 1:14 AM