Failing Hope II

I'll miss your smile, the way you taste..

So today was kind of hard for me.

N is moving to Wyoming, that's very far away and I might never get the chance to see him again. I didn't want to let go of him when hugging goodbye today...as soon as I got in my car to go home I already had tears falling.

He's always been there for me, no matter how much of a witch I've been to him. I think the only reason I really broke up with him was because this was coming, I didn't know it was, but somehow I still made it that way. If we were still together, this would have been even harder.
♥

I think weird things like that, like why things happened how, or when, and why.

I also have a bad habit of thinking worse case scenarios. I'll be driving and get this huge thing going in my head where there would be a collision and me getting in bad condition or something, then picture what would happen and how people would react.

I don't know if that is really a healthy thing to do or not, but I just can't help it. Just like biting my tongue.

Also for this summer, I think I've started caring less for myself already. I've been drinking more energy drinks, which is a definate no no for my sugar and I'm just not as chipper as I should be. I feel bad for it, because padre already feels horrible and I'm afraid to let them know how hard this is actually being on me although I think he already has a hint of it. I just don't want them to feel bad because then I'll feel bad for them feeling that way.

Something I need to work on, not caring about people so much. It honestly makes things so difficult sometimes.

I kicked the deck at the park today when I was jogging. I was mad because when I tried jogging I had a cramp in my side from eating a bit earlier.

I'm gonna miss Tae Kwon Do also...I haven't even mentioned to those guys how I won't be able to join them this Fall.

I seriously hope we get to hang our punching bag up somewhere at our new place. make me a excercise get-away room.

Speak to me- When all you gotta keep is strong, move along move along like I know you do; even when your hope is gone move along move along just to make it through, move along.

<3

posted by Denise @ 10:03 PM